Attach a slinky to your feeder pole.Īn inexpensive DIY alternative to a squirrel foil may already be sitting in a child’s toy box-if not, you can purchase the original metal Slinky spring for about $4 (available on Amazon). Just be sure to place it at least five feet high so squirrels can’t just jump over it to the food. If you already have your bird feeder on a pole, you can simply install a squirrel baffle (like this one on Amazon) onto it. Note that squirrels can jump up to five feet vertically, so be sure the baffle is installed high enough so that the critters can’t just jump over it and seize the seed. Most squirrel-proof bird feeder poles employ a baffle-generally a semi-circular or cone-shaped deflector attachment-designed to keep critters from reaching the food source. While squirrels are incredible climbers, you can outsmart them with a pest-proof bird feeder pole (such as the Squirrel Stopper, available on Amazon). Even if you have a squirrel-proof bird feeder pole (see the next tip), if your feeder is placed near a tree, squirrels can simply leap from a nearby limb onto the food source from the side or above. Squirrels can easily jump up to seven feet horizontally. So, hop on the bandwagon with me my friends and vote Rocky The Flying Squirrel for President.Photo: Place bird feeders away from trees. Rocky will say that Trump’s hair looks like the nest he grew up in and he’ll remind Hillary that he’s cuter. Rocky for president and Bullwinkle for veep. Squirrel and get him to run for president, we would finally have a viable alternate choice. If we take the most famous squirrel in history, a.k.a. Ha, ha, a squirrel could be the next president. Those are the same qualities we use to elect our politicians. Unlike the horse, the camel, and the oxen, a squirrel can’t be trained, it doesn’t listen to directions, and it has very little upper body strength. You never see squirrels hanging out with other animals, because none of the animals like them. We already know that birds are not their friends, and if you own a dog, you know that canines don’t care for them either. None of the other animals like squirrels, perhaps because of their constant thievery. After I outfitted my feeder with the latest anti-squirrel technology, they went so far as to rig a catapult and shoot one squirrel at a time towards the feeder. They climb up the feeder, hang upside down, and eat their fill. I don’t have any squirrel feeders in my yard but that doesn’t stop the furry little felons from pilfering my bird seed. Their BIRD feeder which I fill with birdseed is for the BIRDS ONLY. I like to watch them as they enjoy the birdseed banquet I prepared for them in their feeder. Not only are squirrels do-nothings, they have numerous disgusting qualities as well. They can’t fetch, they don’t purr, and if you let one in your house, they will trash it. They run around the yard all day like they don’t have a care in the world. Have you ever seen a squirrel do anything constructive? Beavers build dams, horses pull wagons, but squirrels do squat. Squirrels are the Kardashians of the animal kingdom. They’re nice to look at but they add absolutely nothing to the animal society. In my opinion, squirrels were put on earth strictly for decoration. I love dogs, birds, and jack-a-lopes, but extreme animal lovers love all animals including those that are a pain in the ass i.e. I use the word extreme because we all love animals. Let me begin by irritating extreme animal lovers.
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